The list of reasons that I am overwhelmed include:
1.) Back to School
2.) A child with ADHD
3.) A husband with ADHD
4.) A new supervisor
5.) A mission to become healthier
6.) A desire to quit my job
7.) Being PTA vice president - and the president resigning
8.) Getting my children to daycare
9.) Paying for daycare
10.) A need to write
1.) Back to school means back to routines. It means that bedtime is critical and reading is important (okay - it always is, but sometimes we aren't very good about reading in the summertime). Our routines are categorized into before school and after school and each day I try to engage with my children about their day. Seesaw helps with this. I looked at my daughter's seesaw entry yesterday and wondered if she had meal worms in her class. She gave me an in-depth explanation of them. But remembering those details - even if they're at my fingertips can be overwhelming.
2.) A child with ADHD - This is one thing that overwhelming isn't quite enough of an adjective to describe. It is exhausting. It is frustrating - for both of us - because she literally forgets what she is doing. We're about 4 months into having her take a small does of a stimulant and it helps a lot. The resistance that I got from my husband was high because he was afraid that she'd be treated differently if she had to take medication. I'm more worried about her inability to focus and her distraction to other students when she makes noises she's unaware of. Also, now that her ADHD is more controlled, is it possible that she has anxiety? Sometimes they go hand-in-hand.
3.) A husband with ADHD proves to be a challenge on most days. He focuses on things that are interesting to him, like screens/TV/shows. The have-to stuff gets done, usually. But the projects are never-ending. They get started and then pieces of wood sit around in the dining room for months. We've had pieces of wood to build a sturdier bed frame in our bedroom for YEARS. It is overwhelming. He's attached to stuff (and we both are generational pack rats, but I am proud to say that with the help of some friends I got rid of a dump truck full of junk from our basement in January). Impulsiveness is rampant and I never know what new gadget may be waiting for me on the off chance that he decides to clean out his truck.
4.) A new supervisor is always challenging, but it's even more challenging when there's reorganization going on. There's a lot of invisibility in distance learning (my day job) and up until she became my supervisor there wasn't a lot of love for distance learning. She also went from my peer to my supervisor - so that makes things a little awkward as well.
5.) I am on a mission to be the best version of myself. It is hard. I usually do okay in some areas of health, but not others. For example, my mental health is usually okay, but getting exercise and eating well are not the strong points of my health. I recently finished the audiobook The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and I looked at what was urgent and important in my life and am striving to live the quadrant II lifestyle. But this overwhelms me, because I feel like nothing should ever be urgent and important - unless there is blood, barf, or bullying involved - and that's not how society or my job works.
6.) There is never a good time to quit a job, but as I look at all the job advice out there and have recently taught a class on careers, I want nothing more than to take a huge, huge risk and become unemployed. The fact that I am professional staff and not faculty never made a big difference to me - until I had a conversation with a colleague about how what I did sounded an awful lot like teaching. Couple that with looking into what is in the faculty contract and then reflecting on working in three Learning Management Systems, grading more than 1500 chapter tests in a year, working with school districts, parents, students, and online facilitators - I am overwhelmed.
7.) At the time I was volun-suggested to be the PTA vice president for my children's school this year, I didn't think I would ever have to take the stage, especially not this early in the year, but our PTA president resigned due to personal reasons and the other three of us on the executive committee will be glad when we can host a special election on Monday and get a new leader - because I really don't want to be PTA president this year.
8.) Remember, I have a child with ADHD. Getting her up, out the door, with taking her medicine is usually challenging. Last year, I bribed her with donuts on the Fridays that were paydays. It was a good bonding time, but this year we've changed course and both she and her brother catch the bus from daycare. It's overwhelming to get the kids out the door with their shoes (on the right feet) and socks on and their backpacks. I've got to get myself out the door too - and try to take care of my morning writing and meditation needs. Overwhelming because neither are ready at the same time and by the time one gets to the door, the other is messing around. I know, normal kids, but it takes single step directions for my daughter to get her shoes on, get her backpack, and get to the door. For my son, it takes one!
9.) The cost of daycare is high. By the time I am done paying for daycare, I could probably have financed my entire post-graduate degree. I don't know a single person who wouldn't say the cost of childcare (especially quality childcare) isn't overwhelming.
10.) Finally, I am overwhelmed by the NEED to write. I am overwhelmed by sharing stories with others. See number 6. I want to quit my job, but I want to quit my job so that I can start a freelance career or publish a novel. Or both. The more I write, the more that I need to write.
Maybe while I contemplate all the reasons that I am overwhelmed, I will also contemplate if I can ever just be whelmed.
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