It's Not Having What You Want, It's Wanting What You've Got

"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." - Soak Up the Sun by Sheryl Crow

In January, I really started to focus on personal development. I read The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, joined Noom, downloaded Calm, and continued my daily journaling practice. Although there are many things that each media taught me, the best gift that I can give myself is gratitude. 

Happy people are successful people. Jeff Olson devotes a whole chapter to this concept in The Slight Edge. Calm has a seven day program to explore gratitude. Noom celebrates what is going well in a journey to lifelong health - and focuses on all aspects of health, including mental health. 

To be happy, one must be grateful. So often, we focus on all the things we don't have. We focus on not having a new car or a new house. We focus on not having a new job or new relationship. But, what if, instead, we focus on the home that we already have? The car that takes to and from work, the job that pays our bills, or the relationship that we've invested in over time?

Sheryl Crow says it well in Soak Up the Sun, "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." When we want want we already have, we can be grateful. We can appreciate life around us and we can be part of a kinder humanity.

As a person I practice kindness everyday. I begin my work day with thank yous and end my day reflecting on what I am grateful for. Generally, I am not thankful for stuff, but rather I am thankful for the interactions that I have had with someone. And, my quarter of an investment in the way of a card can put a smile on someone's face for the day and I often get some kind of acknowledgement later, which I don't need, but I am happy to celebrate someone else's day.

As a mom, I need to share this with my children. We talk about things that make us happy and sad during the day, but I hear, "Mom, I need to order a new Power Ranger Megazord from Amazon. Mom, did you know there's a toy store in Kansas City? Mom, Walmart has a toy section [giggle, giggle]," nearly everyday from my 6 year old. So now that I am focused way more on having gratitude in my adult life, I am going to start posing the questions to my children, "What do you already have that you are thankful for?" and "How can we spread more kindness in the world?"

My Gifts

I took the dog out for a quick walk tonight. We generally don't go on very many walks, but I am trying to change my lifestyle - and it's definitely not super easy. On our walk, I was thinking about the gifts that I have in my personal and professional life.

First, I am patient. I am about the most patient person on the planet until I've hit my limit of stress for the day and then I snap. I snap at my husband. I snap at my children. I snap at the dog and the cat, but if you're a stranger I probably won't snap at you. I tell other people that my own mom "has the patience of a saint - for anyone that is not her child." Generally my patience is not just for those strangers, but is for everyone in my life.

Second, I am calm. I stay very calm - except when I've told my daughter 18 times that it is time to go and finally have to resort to yelling at her to get even a minuscule amount of her attention. I offer up the choice and consequences of her actions as calmly as possible and on the days she's had her medicine it works - other days not so much (she has ADHD).

Third, I am great at training others. I give step-by-step directions. They are detailed and they start at the beginning. So when I am training other colleagues on a new software program, I deliver an SOP with screenshots and it starts at the very beginning. I write user-guides like I am making them for my own mom - who again has the patience of a saint - for anyone that is not her child. If I am trying to teach her something new, especially when it comes to technology, I start at the power button and work my way up from there. With screen casting, I can also make videos which is incredibly helpful in my professional life teaching ESL students.

Are these all my gifts? Nope. Is this the short list of my most outstanding ones? Yes. Now I am off to give the greatest gift of all - the gift of reading to my children and promoting literacy at home.