My Morning Routine

I just finished listening to the audio book of My Morning Routine: How Successful People Start Every Day Inspired by Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander. The authors interviewed many successful people that described their morning routine and give advice to the listeners/readers as to how successful people start their days.

It is not surprising that many successful people do not start their day with email. Many have more introverted activities such as journaling or meditation, or even exercise, to begin their days and many will not put their phones in their bedrooms. As I listened to this I had some questions:

1.) Am I unsuccessful at getting enough sleep because my phone is my alarm clock?
2.) Could I be a freelance writer?
3.) Am I doing anything to inhibit my creativity?
4.) How do I define success?
5.) Is there room in my morning routine to add exercise?

I'd like to take a look at each of my questions individually.

My phone
When I go to bed, my phone is near my pillow. The "Do Not Disturb" setting is turned on from 9 PM to 5 AM. It is face down and I am generally not on it at night, unless all my physical print publications have been read and I have downloaded an e-book from the library. Most of the people interviewed for this book would not have a problem with my phone being in my bedroom, not being used, as long as I have the discipline to follow through on not using it (which is 95% of the time).

Freelance Writing
I spoke with my husband yesterday about the possibility of becoming a freelance writer. Ideally, I would find a book contract and I would become the next Jodi Picoult or J.K. Rowling; however, I am not sure how to go about finding an agent to break into that field - or even if I am in the right place at the right time like some authors find themselves. My goal for myself during the next year is to learn about freelance work. I will take an online class and I will commit to posting at least one blog post per week.

Inhibition of Creativity
I don't think I am inhibiting my creativity. That doesn't mean that I always have creative juices flowing through my veins, but I definitely have embraced "Creation Before Input." From the time I heard that phrase, I have actively put off logging in to my social media accounts to start my day. I may check them before I leave home, but not without my journaling and meditation time first. My routine is to let the dog out, feed him, get a cup of tea or coffee (depending on my relationship with sugar at the moment - coffee if I am carefree about sugar and want a little sugar with my coffee, but tea when I am conscientious of what is actually entering my mouth in the sweets department), retreat to my writing station - currently in the corner of our guest bedroom - where I journal for at least twenty minutes, and I follow it up with The Daily Calm. I would say that I am doing well at creating before I even think of checking my phone - but if I fail, I forgive myself.

Success
I want to compare myself to other people and measure my success by their houses, their cars, their lifestyles; but, I need to compare myself to myself from the past. When I focus on where I was six and eight years ago, I have grown exponentially as a person. Eight years ago I became a mom and there is nothing like a child that challenges you to have more of a routine. Six years ago our second child was born. He was a preemie. I have not only kept him alive (that's a huge success for all moms out there - go you) and he wants to play with me. That's success. My daughter is a reader now. She struggles with attention and she bombed her winter reading test, but she made huge gains in the spring and we've actually read this summer (another success). My marriage - definitely not perfect - has survived for 12 years. My student loans are nearly paid off and neither car is tied to a car payment - another way that I am successful. I have a job that I mostly like - and it pays me well, but also affords me the flexibility to attend all the kids' school activities and be a mentor to others. I'm going to choose to define success by my level of happiness - which is about an 8 or a 9 today.

Exercise in My Morning Routine
Right now, there's no way that I am going to attempt to add in exercise to my morning routine. I rise at 5:15 AM, if not a little earlier, and spend the first hour of my day journaling and meditating. I have never been a morning exerciser and when I have tried to add it to my morning routine in the past I have failed. Therefore, I am perfectly happy keeping my exercise for later in the day when I can be social with others at an aqua aerobics class or swim some laps at an outdoor pool. It's okay that exercise in the mornings doesn't work for me. Maybe if I get to be a freelance writer exercise will slot in an earlier time, but for now evenings it is.

Overall, I would say that my morning routine allows me to focus on myself. Self-care is an important part of my well-being, but I still struggle with the "mommy-guilt" when I put myself first. Now that my children are older, "mommy-guilt" is slowly disappearing and it's being replaced with "why the &%$# did I want kids." But occasionally I see the markings in my journal with "Mome, I luv you," and I am reminded that my kids are watching how I navigate the world and I can only hope that they give themselves permission when they have kids to take care of themselves.

My New Rules

Every once in awhile, I go back and revisit my new rules. I struggle less with mommy guilt now that both kids are in school full-time (until my mom visits), but I still feel that sometimes I need to hear permission from myself to live by these rules. Comment with the rules you would add.

I have struggled since my son was born (almost 4 years ago) with "mommy guilt." Today,I am giving myself permission to not feel guilty! My new rules to survive as a working mom (who really, really likes her job):

1.) Socks belong in a laundry basket - not folded neatly inside each other.
2.) Our family's clothes do not need folded - they don't stay that way so why bother? I will from here on throw my children's clothes haphazardly in their dressers - since that is how they will end up anyway
3.) My sanity is saved by a to-do, doing, done chart (taken right out of Scrum training) for my almost-6 year old to do her jobs!
4.) I can - while doing mundane tasks - watch the TV shows I want and let my children entertain themselves (GASP - they may actually have to play without mommy)
5.) We have hired a cleaning service and they are wonderful! I refuse to feel guilty about spending more time with my family and paying a company that pays their workers really, really well to clean my house twice a month.

Please leave a comment about what else we, as moms, can do to relieve our mommy guilt.