Inside Out

If you have been around animated movies in the last five years, you will know of Frozen for sure, but you will also most likely know the movie Inside Out. Inside Out raised awareness of mental health and brought a really abstract concept to life.

It's Friday. I'm tired - and still not feeling "normal" - so I took the kids to the grocery store to let them find their own dinner tonight. Once home and our highly nutritious meals of Easy Mac and Lunchables were served and the popcorn popped, we settled in to watch Inside Out.

I'm struggling right now. The seasons are changing (heading to fall and then winter in the U.S.) Our daylight hours are much less and I haven't broken out my "Rise and Shine" yet - although I keep thinking that I should. I suffer from seasonal depression. It sucks energy and joy right out of you and all you can feel is sadness.

Inside Out precisely reveals why it is so important to have sadness in our lives - and yet most of us wish we were a little more joyful. Once Joy and Sadness disappear from headquarters, they are fighting like crazy to get back there. I think this demonstrates that those of us who do have depression - be it Seasonal Affective Disorder, Post-partum depression, manic-depressiveness, or any other form of depression, would love to be happy, but the emotions are pulled away from our conscience and anger, fear, and disgust run the show.

Right now, I am living in fear of the unknown. What if my plan doesn't work? What if it does? What if it changes twenty times between now and my deadline? What will happen if we have to move? What will happen if we stay where we're at? What will happen for the benefit of my family? What will happen as a detriment to my family? I can't answer these questions immediately, but I can tell you that my success rate has been 100% so far of getting through both difficult and exciting situations.

I am also angry that life can seem so lopsided in some people's favor. The reality is, though, that everyone has a struggle that they are dealing with and no one knows what someone else is going through. I remember being so mad that we had bought a starter house - and then the economy tanked. Now the trend is to build "tiny houses." Unfortunately for us, the trend didn't come at the right time, but our property is rented out and our tenant has been there for 5 years.

There are many things to be disgusted with in the world too, but generally I get most disgusted with myself because I believe that I should be able to be a superhero and keep everything together. I believe that I shouldn't have emotions, but should be constantly happy. That's not reality - nor would we appreciate the happy ones without the sad ones.